All good things......

So this will be my final post here. Everything has been setup back home and I've said my goodbyes here. I get to sleep now, it feels like its been forever, but i can finally go to sleep. Kissing my daughter, kissing my son, and kissing her have been the hardest things for me. Harder than i could possibly imagine. But their lives will be much better when i'm gone and change in ways they could never imagine.

The other posts have been hidden save for this one, so I guess i'll end it with a poem. And a message for her. If you managed to find your way here chica( i told you, using google is easy) this one is for you. Find love, real love, and when you find it, hold on to it and never let it go. It will nurture and sustain you when you have nothing else. Like you did for me. I'll give you a hint where to look, start in the mirror, and remember what it was i always tried to tell you. Say it to yourself.... "I Love You", and don't ever stop saying it. Goodbye.

The Crush

You can’t

Freely

See we

Like me

Your view

Deducts

The plus

Of us

I speak into your sly grin

Hope to begin

A spark to lean in

The words fly from my belly

Over your head

And into vapor

I close to make the space thin

Craving within

Our sin on your skin

My moves, fluid as jelly

Morph into lead

Withholding favor

Your light

My moon

My plight

Too soon

Covet

Your breadth

Plummet

My depth

I fall into your kind eyes

And then realize

I could not equalize

The words left my belly

Went to my head

And into nothing

I lurch, movement unwise

A sad demise

A heart unrealized

My knees, weaker than jelly

Now full of dread,

Send me over, crushing.